do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
