I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
