we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
