She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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