Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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