I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
