Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
