Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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