u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
