I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have post one night stand depression
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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