My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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