i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
