Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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