theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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