You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
