i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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