You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
