Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
