oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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