Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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