It's Friday. Sex?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
