By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
