wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
