people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
