Small penises have feelings too.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
