Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
