I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
