I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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