I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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