Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
