A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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