planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
