Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
