you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
