the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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