2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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