I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
