Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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