is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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