We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
