Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
