PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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