:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i out mim tonsoeep
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