this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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