yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
