Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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