she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
