Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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