I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
