you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
