my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
