I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
