My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
its liver damage thursday
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
